When you don’t get what you want!! what to do?? Dial-a-friend and ……….smile obviously
One of my best friends had this episode Last night. And since I was involved in his counseling, I think I should write for me, you and hum…a philosophical chat…(though it was a never ending chat, have tried to shorten it)
His name his Mr….lets give him a fictitious name Mr. Ch* (maarega saala mujhe kissi din), but still lets talk and more importantly lets write. Let the pole go into the hole (I mean the hole in his heart). Ya! Incase you are a shit like him who can’t understand this metaphor (or whatever you call it), let me make it clear…he has his HEART BREAK-UP (hello why call me!! dial 101)…or something BREAK-UP or GOD knows what all BREAK-ed in him.
For first 10 minutes, all I could hear was a shattered narration of some cyclone-affected human body.
Me: what happened
Him: …DREAMS SHATTERED, HEART SINKING, MIND NOT DOING THE THINKING JOB…. (and God knows what all good things happened with him…may be he tasted shit and was telling me the symptoms…may be some cyclone developed inside his body)
Me: Brother what happened
Him (sadness to extremes, whining situations): Yaar aaj DIL toot gaya…vo saalon ke sapne toot gaye
Me: Okie, first tell me where you are?
Him:Maut se ek kadam duur
Me [sarcastically]: Chal badiya hai, at atlast you got there. Humari aisi kissmat kahan”
Him [Sunny-Deol types]: B ke ****, MC kaisa dost hai tu…, U thinking am talking F*** here
Me: ok calm down first, sorry, may you go-on n please everything in full-details
Him: Yaar, I called her today…right now
Me: You mean around 1 AM in this lovely dark night
Me: Great…aage bol
Him: I told her about my situation
Him: That I can’t stop pondering about her…and today she has to give the answer of that question in Boolean terminology
Me: Good, Digital Logic inserted in between…rascal
Him: Yaar am serious…that day jab we met, I felt strongly to indirectly know the answer through questions like what she thought me?, whether she liked me or not…
Me: What was the reply?
Him: The lady replied ‘Me dunno know much about you’…but today I asked her directly and told her as a friend please answer in simple Y/N. And she chose N against Y
Me: You asked the reason?
Him: I did. She replied – ‘I never thought of you in that manner. I can understand your feelings but __ (rechristened to Mr. Ch* here), me never had that mutual understanding w.r.t type of feelings you are talking about.
Him: I even asked her about whether it is possible in future. The simple, sweet and most importantly honest reply was even more HEART BREAKing [a pathetic giggle]
Me: Tell me that simple, sweet and honest reply
Him: Her words – ‘And I can’t see that coming in future.’
Me [suprized with unintended smile]: Okay, thats a really simple and SWEET answer. So, what’s the problem now!!
Him: Help me get over this BREAK-UP thing…
Me: What BREAK-UP!! I wonder whether it was ever a UP at any time. Come on dude, don’t tell you didn’t understand her reply…do you understand importance of the word ‘mutual’…I dunno think there was any duplex sharing of interest ever in your case and to say the bottomline – she wasn’t your love EVER!! What am going to say is harsh but true – your as*hole were having hallucinations which were totally absurd and seriously self-pleasing. Man! Your way and her way of thinking are drastically diverging and are wrong paths. And about the future thing, me must acknowledge the girl. Atleast she isn’t playing or giving flirting type answers. In my eyes it’s a very decent reply…don’t derive wrong ad-hoc conclusions.
Him: [pause…he must have tears in his eyes after this reply i.e. my counseling…even devil not smiling here]
Him:Yaaaaaar…where am I now? [a low decibel shout]
call disconnect -> redial -> I called back and the story continues…
Me: Calm down…nothing has happened. See the best way to live life is to see everything in a positive sense. Tension kya be…
Him: [silent…silent…silent…he simply lost it…either he lost his power of speech or MTNL was playing tricks]
Me: Hello…Hello __(Ch*). (oye,, Where is he??…thoughts of him committing suicide coming into my mind…fear…horror…)
Him: (after 2 sec), ya am here
Me: Bas****, you just F***ed me…
(back to normal vocals)
Be fine…see, frankly and honestly I would say the fault is all yours! And if you I want I can tell you. You can be more cautious next time to try (hunk’s giggle…imagine yourself)
Me: The fault lies in your views basically. In relationships, you can’t be highly optimistic. It is not a machine with whom you are expecting some satisfactory results. You are dealing with humans. And humans are random. You just can’t deceide any relationship’s fate based upon your optimistic view. “Expectations always lead to disappointments”, one of my principles of life and am really cool about that.
Ch*, my friend just try to shift your optimism onto the career side. Be an optimist while you are dealing with team members in projects, presentations and more crap things. And you will a more successful life…
Him:Sahi keh raha hai
Me: And one thing more – try to see things with rationalism and practicality. Try to understand that you can’t create feelings; Remember that one-liner ‘feelings can’t be created, but feelings can create things’!! And about her, just leave her, if that feel comes to her, you are lucky or else do…hmmm…anything (apart from calling me in this lovely hour). Doggy, you got it.
Him: Hee hee, thank you man…Doggy’s best friend…hee hee [oho again]
Me [sarcastically]: Ya, I know, am made for F***ed up people like you and these days have started late night shifts too.
Him: Hee hee (that irritating girle type giggles, I finally got it…angelic work from Devil)
Me: Acha tell me, for how long you knew her
Me: Waah, waah mere aashiq waah
Him: Ya, I know…but…
Me: What?? Don’t tell me, you were afraid about the nO answer!! Dude, where was your practical mind!! What happened to your rationalism!! And then you Bas****s throw the throne of MCP to me
Him: Ya, that fear is always there. And I also know fear of failure is an emblem of weakness. May be I was weak; or I am weak
[disappointment in his environment…pause of 5 sec…]
Him: May be, I should learn from you. Guess, being a MCP is a strong show of character. Just love you buddy [again that aggravating Hee Hee]
Me: ya, I know that. A few moments back you were having the same love for a different sex. They say ‘time changes everything’ and nowdays, it is changing gender too. This environment if full of gayness now…what a lovely romantic late night heart-to-heart talk am having. I can clearly see what’s there in destiny for me. [sarcasm to limits]
And the conversation went on while the world slept…
Ch* will me kill me for this post. Ch*, my friend if you are reading this do forgive me and don’t think about silly suicide attempts. Oh bloody hell, F***, I can see him now. He is standing in front of me. I am standing in front of him. Both are breathing concurrently. I can clearly see him in the mirror…
[All smiles to Devil]
Hope, the fool was out of you Well was wondering if CB can write asskicking fiction (5.sum1) , why can’t I…may be me and you too should write a book…Three Mistakes of My Life – ‘Love, Friends and Myself’